18 Tips to Make Your Partner More Comfortable | ApartmentGuide.com (2024)

Congratulations! Your partner is coming to visit! That’s wonderful. Whether this is a first visit or part of your routine, there are ways to make your partner feel even more comfortable in your apartment. From dedicating a space to your partner’s items or doing a deep clean of the space, your partner will appreciate the effort when you open the door and they can just relax.

Whether you’re renting an apartment in Scottsdale or buying a home in Albuquerque, ApartmentGuide reached out to experts in relationships, including counselors, therapists, and dating coaches to compile the top 18 tips to prepare your space for your partner’s visit. Read on to learn more and impress them the next time they come over.

1. First impressions matter

Though you’ve already created a strong foundation with your partner, first impressions are still important to the health of your relationship.

When first visiting a space that isn’t their own, you want your partner to feel welcome from the moment they step in the door. “When your partner visits your home it is most important that their first experience of you upon their arrival is that you prioritize acknowledging them,” says Fiachra “Figs” O’Sullivan of Empathi, a therapy service for couples or individuals. “For example, if you are cooking, stop cooking as soon as it is safe to look them in the eyes and greet them enthusiastically. If you are on a call, interrupt the call to greet them, etc., It is most important that your partner receives the message that their presence is your priority and you greet them enthusiastically. Moments of coming together and parting are particularly important to deliver emotional bonding significant messages.”

Another thing to keep in mind is to cue into your partner’s body language. They might present as being relaxed through their voice, but their body is transmitting signs of discomfort. As a licensed therapist and co-founder of Crescent Counseling, Amanda Stretcher recommends, “Take cues from their body language and reactions to create a warm atmosphere that feels safe and inviting. Sometimes, it's the small gestures like adjusting the lighting or offering a comforting hug that can make a big difference.”

It’s vital that your partner knows they are welcome in your apartment from the moment they step through the door. “Creating a welcoming space for your partner is key to deepening your connection,” adds Amie the Dating Coach, a Certified Master Life Coach and relationship coach for Los Angeles and Las Vegas. “Set aside a drawer for them, let them know they can leave a set of bathroom toiletries on hand, and stock their favorite snacks in the pantry. These thoughtful gestures show you're inviting them into your life in a meaningful way, once your relationship has flourished you might consider giving them a key when you are ready.”

We’ll dive more into the suggestions Amie brought up throughout the article.

2. Consider your partner’s needs

Showing that you are taking into account and care about your partner’s needs is a great way to make them feel welcome. “Considering your partner’s needs will make them feel more at ease,” says Rachele Kehler, a Women’s alignment coach and Human Design guide. “I am a light sleeper, and I immediately felt more at ease in my partner's place when he provided me with earplugs and a sleep mask!”

Take the time to learn what makes your partner most comfortable and try to accommodate those preferences in your apartment. “Everyone has their own comfort preferences, whether it’s the room temperature, lighting, or bed arrangement. Maybe they like extra pillows on the bed or a specific type of tea in the morning. These small adjustments can make a significant impact on how at ease they feel in your space,” says Krysia Szyszlo, founder of Date Your Destiny, an online love and dating coach service aimed towards mid-life singles and based in Toronto.

Being proactive is a great way to learn more and make sure you’re meeting your partner’s needs. “Asking and being curious about what your partner would like makes them valued. Always be curious about their likes and dislikes. Observe your partner’s preferences so you can surprise your partner with your knowledge of them by having on hand the things they prefer,” shares Dr. Lori Runge, a relationship expert and love coach. “When in doubt, ask them how they would like to be shown that they are cared for. Make sure to be curious about their preferences and do the small little things – they add up and they matter!”

3. Give them a space for them to keep their things

If your partner is spending a lot of time at your place, setting aside a space for them to keep their things is a great way to make your partner feel comfortable. “To make your partner feel truly welcome, consider setting up a small space just for them,” says Alpha Attraction, a dating service for singles based in New Zealand. “It could be a dedicated spot in the closet for their clothes, a special drawer, or even a cozy corner with some of their favorite books or magazines. This gesture shows that you’re thinking about their comfort and makes them feel more at home.”

When your significant other comes to visit, thoughtfully allocating "real estate" in key areas can make a big difference. “Start by ensuring they have their side of the bed and nightstand area, as well as designated drawer and closet space in the bedroom for their belongings. In the bathroom, provide them with dedicated storage for their toiletries and personal items,” recommends Jen of Jen’s Life Coaching. “Additionally, create a comfortable and organized workspace for their remote work needs, complete with a chair, a small desk, and essential office supplies. These considerations help make their visit more comfortable and enjoyable.”

4. Provide the essentials

When your partner comes to visit, they have a lot on their mind. They’re packing clothes, toiletries, books, and other essentials that they might need. Take a load off their mind and prepare a few essentials for them. “Keep a spare set of toiletries, such as a toothbrush, shampoo, and shower gel, available for your partner’s use,” says Krysia Szyszlo, founder of Date Your Destiny. “This consideration can save them the hassle of packing these items and show that you’ve thought ahead about their needs. It’s a practical way to make them feel cared for and considered in your home.”

Another cozy essential is to get your partner their very own robe for your apartment. “Nothing says ‘welcome’ like a cozy, comfortable robe waiting for your partner,” says Krysia. “Having a guest robe available for them to use during their stay can make your place feel like a luxurious retreat. This simple addition to your apartment can enhance their comfort, especially on those lazy weekend mornings or after a refreshing shower.”

5. Help them keep their routine

When your partner stays overnight, nothing will help them feel more at home than starting their day with their usual morning routine. “Stock up on their favorite coffee or tea, get a special mug that makes them smile, and have their go-to breakfast items ready. Create a comfy nook where they can enjoy their morning peace. For instance, if they love starting the day with yoga, have a yoga mat waiting for them. These thoughtful touches show how much you care about their comfort, making your place feel like their second home,” says Cassidy Logsdon, a relationship and intimacy coach with Abundant Couples.

Sharing a space with someone may mean altering your own routines. “Be mindful of your partner's routines and be willing to compromise with your patterns. There are often limitations to how much a partner can change their physical space or redecorate to make the other more comfortable, especially early in the relationship,” says Lori Kret of Aspen Relationship Institute. “By honoring the visiting partners' daily rhythms related to sleeping, eating, productive time and rest, you provide more opportunity for them to feel like themselves in your space.”

6. Clean clean clean

Nothing makes someone bristle quite like a dirty house. “If someone is visiting your space, the best advice I can give is to clean,” says Lydia Kociuba of Hidden Gem Profiles, a service that helps with creating effective online dating profiles. “Wipe off surfaces and put away clutter. If you have pets, make sure to clean up after them. You can also add an aroma ambiance with nice candles or melting waxes.”

Relationship experts everywhere agree that cleaning is one of the most important things to do before your partner visits. “Clean up. And I do mean a deep clean,” affirms Gigi Engle, a renowned relationships psychotherapist and resident intimacy expert for 3Fun. “Your apartment should be tidy and clean so as to create an atmosphere of comfort. No one likes going somewhere where the floors are sticky, and there are piles of laundry everywhere. This shows your partner that you care about their comfort and want them to feel good in your space. It also shows you value yourself and your living environment.”

Tarah and EJ Kerwin, owners of Tucson-based couples counseling service Relationship Renovation, recommend adding personalized touches throughout while you’re cleaning. “Add personalized touches that will show your partner you want them to feel comfortable and cared for. An example is a love note expressing how happy you are for the visit and the wonderful energy your partner brings to the space.”

After your space is nice and clean, it’s time to set a cozy and comfortable mood to really round things out. “Creating a cozy mood can mean having fairy lights, a fire going (even one on YouTube on the TV), playing some soft music, and lighting some nice-smelling candles. Creating a comfortable space invites us to feel comfortable and cozy in the space,” says Gigi. If your partner is sensitive to scents, swap the candles for unscented ones. You can also take a recommendation from Amanda Helwig of Tri-County Suburban Realtors and get an air purifier. “Utilize air purifiers to maintain a neutral scent in your home, ensuring that no strong fragrances overwhelm your significant other,” she says.

Another quick tip is to provide your partner slippers at the door. “Leave slippers at the door so that your significant other can feel comfortable while keeping your home clean, especially during allergy season,” says Amanda Helwig of Tri-County Suburban Realtors.

7. Focus on the bathroom

Everybody loves a clean bathroom. Whether you’re doing a deep clean or a quick once-over, making sure your bathroom is clean will immediately make your partner comfortable and put them at ease when over at your apartment. “It can be easy to overlook a dusty corner in your own place, but there's nothing quite as off-putting as finding a layer of grime in your partner's bathroom,” says Darci Johnson of The Matchmaking Company, a nationwide matchmaking service. “You can help your partner feel more comfortable in your apartment by paying a bit of extra attention to the cleanliness of your space. No dirty floors or soap scum!”

Adding small personal touches to your bathroom can make your partner feel like they are visiting a spa when they come over. Amanda Helwig, a member of Tri-County Suburban Realtors, recommends, “Place a basket of hand towels in a convenient location for your significant other’s use. You can also provide small kits with essential toiletry items such as a razor, toothbrush, toothpaste, and shampoo.”

8. Communicate your expectations

If there’s one thing that can make or break your relationship, it’s communication. “Before they arrive, have a conversation with your partner about what they can expect during their visit or stay,” says the Maplewood Counseling Team, a counseling service for couples, families, and individuals in New Jersey. “Discuss important details such as sleeping arrangements, house rules, and any other expectations either of you may have. This will not only help manage each other's expectations but also ensure that their needs are met during their stay.”

When explaining any rules or customs for your home, it’s also important to tell your partner about any apartment quirks. “If you take off your shoes at the door or don't eat food on the couch or have something quirky about how the bathroom door locks, tell your partner. It's better to tell them than to have them sense your anxiety or annoyance later,” recommends Rebecca Williams, owner of Inland Empire Couples Counseling, a counseling service based out of California.

Just as important as it is to explain to your partner how you set up your home, it’s also important to ask how they like to use their home. “You can make the experience easier for your partner by having a conversation about how they use each space in their room,” says life and business coach Denise Lee. “For example, if they use the living room as their exercise area, provide a dedicated space for an exercise mat and some equipment. This not only shows empathy and concern but also allows them to maintain healthy habits and promote overall well-being.”

9. Separate your workspace

If you work from home, like many people do, then there’s a chance your work is scattered throughout your apartment. While you might not notice it, the awareness of work material can be a looming presence for both you and your partner. If you’re spending time together during a workday, the lack of a dedicated workspace, such as a living room-office combo, can also lead to confusion.

"The best way to make your apartment welcoming to your partner is to make sure your ‘work area’ is defined to a particular room or space in your apartment,” says Ramon Santillan, an interview coach with Persuasive Interview. “Many times, especially with WFH and hybrid work arrangements, people tend to spread their work all over the place. This can lead to disagreements or uncomfortable situations where your partner doesn't know if you're ‘on or off’ the clock. Also, in order to build a good relationship, you must separate your work time from your personal time. Being able to focus on your partner without have your work surrounding you is something everyone can appreciate."

10. Make the bedroom cozy

Wherever your partner is sleeping, it’s important to have a conversation about it so they can plan ahead. “Make sure your partner has a comfortable place to sleep, whether it's in a spare bedroom or on the couch. Provide clean sheets, pillows, and blankets so they can get a good night's rest. You can also add personal touches like fresh flowers or scented candles to make the space feel more welcoming,” recommends the Maplewood Counseling Team.

If you’re sharing the bedroom, make sure that your partner’s side of the bed is prepped for them. “Place a side table next to your partner's side of the bed. Leave it empty so they can store anything they need at night,” suggests Jessica Engle of Bay Area Dating Coach and Relationship Center. “Doing so will also ensure your partner has enough space to get in and out of bed comfortably rather than climbing over you to get to their sleeping spot.”

11. Think about your partner’s love languages

Whether you believe in love languages or not, they are still a useful tool in discussing needs within a relationship. Using love languages, Dr. Melanie Ross Mills, a Relational Health Expert, provides some thoughts on ways to optimize your apartment to make your partner comfortable.

“Think of your partner’s love language. Do they love to receive gifts? If so, make a gift bag filled with things they love- puffy Cheetos, fuzzy socks, spearmint toothpaste, favorite scented candle, matching robes.

Do they love words of encouragement? If so, make it a point to reassure them often that they’re welcome to make your space, their space. Let them know the reasons why you enjoy sharing your space with them.

Do they love acts of service? Make them a special dinner when they arrive, help them unpack their things, or offer to go get something they might have forgotten.”

12. “Post-it note it”

Nothing will brighten your partner’s day like finding a special note you’ve hidden just for them. “Put post-it notes in the mirror in the bathroom, windows in the den, inside the refrigerator. Write down positive words that describe them, note some favorite memories, share some dreams you have for you both together,” recommends Dr. Melanie Ross Mills. “You can then give them a pack of ‘post it’s’ to reciprocate the love!”

13. Prioritize a space for alone time

You may love your partner immensely, but everyone needs some alone time every once in a while. Make sure you have a space where your partner can go if they need some time to themselves. “Create a small designated area for your partner to be able to have alone time, even if it's just a chair in a corner where they can have a cup of coffee, read, or play the guitar,” says Lori Kret, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Board Certified Coach, and Co-Founder of Aspen Relationship Institute. “Even partners who are madly in love need to be able to sink into their own energy to welcome the day, decompress, ground or unwind. Designate an inviting space for your partner to do so and you'll prevent energetically or emotionally burning each other out.”

14. Let them know they belong

In the spirit of welcoming your partner at your place, it's also important to make sure they feel like they belong. “You can also have the eating area be ‘set for two’ so that it assumes their presence often. This signals to them that you're expecting them at least occasionally to dine at ‘home’ with you,” says Dez Stephens, founder of Radiant Health Institute, a social enterprise. “Setting out candles they like and asking them about their favorite takeout meals or recipes is also letting them know that you want to ‘break bread’ with them often.”

Another way to make your partner comfortable in your space is to ask what they miss about their home. “Listen for what they miss most from their apartment and surprise them by having those things at your place,” says Rachel Simeone, a dedicated dating and relationship coach. “One client's partner missed his morning cup of Nespresso coffee, so she surprised him with a Nespresso machine for her kitchen. He loved it and appreciated her thoughtfulness. Customizing your approach to what is important to your partner can make all the difference!”

In fact, reminding them of their home is a great way to create a welcoming environment. “Create a welcoming atmosphere by personalizing your space with items that reflect your partner's preferences. Stock up on their favorite snacks and drinks, and free up a drawer with a set of comfy clothes for them. It's the little things that make our partners feel loved and seen," shares Arrezo Azim, a relationship and dating coach.

15. Food is the way to the soul

The stomach is the way to the heart. That’s the way the saying goes, right? Whatever it is, we all know it to be true. "Stocking your refrigerator with your partner's favorite items will make them feel welcome, warm, and considered. Discussing and agreeing on the refrigerator temperature settings can help avoid potential conflicts,” says Dr. Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist. “Stocking the fridge with your partner’s favorites is a small act of thoughtfulness that shows you care about their preferences and enjoy their company enough to prepare for it. Imagine their joy when they open the fridge and find their favorite treat waiting for them!” says Krysia Szyszlo of Date Your Destiny.

Another great way to connect through food is to cook together. “Finding ways to make meals together in one of your kitchens is not only a great date idea but can make your partner feel welcomed in your space. This includes picking out a recipe and grocery shopping together,” recommends Carla Romo, an international speaker and Professional Certified Coach.

16. Say goodbye to your exes

The worst thing your partner could see when they step through the door would be photos or décor from a past relationship. “If you want to make your partner feel both comfortable and prioritized in your home, time to put away pictures and objects from previous relationships,” affirms Camille Virginia, founder of Master Offline Dating, a service dedicated to helping singles find partners without dating apps. “Nothing says, ‘I still have one foot in the past and am not fully available for you’ like displaying those visual reminders in a place where your focus should, instead, be on your present company – who you hopefully see yourself building a future with.”

Chances are you might be missing some photos or décor if you’ve grown accustomed to it. “When I first visited my now fiancé’s home, I noticed a photo booth strip of his ex-girlfriend on his kitchen bulletin board,” says Krysia Szyzlo of Date Your Destiny. “When I pointed out that I was uncomfortable with it, he apologized and threw it in the trash immediately. He was oblivious that it was there even one year after their breakup. We often get used to our everyday surroundings and can become unobservant to how others see our space. To prevent awkward moments, have a friend walk through your apartment and point out anything that might seem unwelcoming before inviting someone over for a date.”

17. Build the space together

To truly make your partner comfortable in your home, you can start building the space together. “Incorporate creative dates that you can bring home and display,” says Liv Talley, a dating coach with The Sealed Deal. “Whether that’s a paint night, shopping for furniture, or throwing mugs, a big piece of feeling at home at your partner's place is seeing memories you’ve created together around.”

Dr. RK Suri, a relationship counselor at TalktoAngel, seconds this idea, “You can invite them over to help decorate the apartment and choose to keep their stuff around like books, paintings, and art. Displaying photos and mementos of your time together is also another way to build the space together.”

If your partner is visiting consistently, consider establishing small rituals or routines for you two to follow. “Shared habits can provide comfort and a sense of belonging,” says Babita Spinelli of Opening the Doors Psychotherapy. “Couples can create rituals such as mindfulness practices like meditation to create a sense of being present and relaxed. Other rituals to create ease include incorporating times to communicate about what each partner may need or want. Weekly check-ins on if the partner feels comfortable is a tool couples can utilize. Establishing routines such as reading together, cooking together or meditating together are rituals of connection which create a sense of comfort for both partners.”

Kristi D. Price of KP Matchmaking seconds the idea of establishing rituals. "Establish shared routines and spaces, such as a coffee or tea morning routine, weekly movie night, or a dedicated dining spot to foster a sense of unity and belonging," she says. "You can also personalize your home with items that reflect their taste, like scents, art, plants, or décor they enjoy. A couple photos of the two of you may help the space feel more like home to them as well."

If these steps seem a bit extreme for the state of your relationship, that’s okay! “Allowing someone into your personal space later in life can be challenging because you may be more set in your ways. It can be unsettling for the newcomer too!” says Michele Burghardt, a dating coach for women 50 and over with Date Great Guys. “To help the transition, start off small by doing small tasks together like making dinner or washing dishes together. This will show you how well your guest integrates into your surroundings and helps you feel more comfortable sharing your home."

18. When you’re ready, think about the future

After some time and if you and your partner are comfortable with it, it might be beneficial to discuss what a future together might look like – including maybe renting a home in Phoenix or another city someday. Dr. Shannan Crawford of Crawford Clinics advises that “love is great, but love alone without vision and a healthy culture will fade amidst arguing over all of the unstated goals, needs, and expectations that are not being met.”

Dr. Crawford calls this process of discussion “vision setting” and offers a quick overview of how to begin this with your partner.

“1. Write the Vision: Make it plain, so you can run with meaningful action toward your goals. Write out the 'familiar' and the 'normal' you both had in childhood. Write what each of you would envision as the Notebook version of your relationship in the future.

2. Reverse Engineer the Outcome: Identify what each of you separately and collectively need to do to achieve this vision.

3. Craft a Plan: Add the ways you will hold yourselves accountable to your goals and vision.

4. Recognize Progress: Brainstorm loving ways to positively recognize one another when you see progress towards your couple goals.”